"i knew a chap who had a frozen knob. polar. polar bear."

ok so here we go.
i know its small font and the fotos are shiner but this will be worth your while girl scouts honour.

saturday morn we were up at 6 to get on the bus to head towards wales. a great bus ride up filled with good conversation and gorgeous scenery. we quickly found the annoying girl on the trip, jill, who had unnerving body movements and an unsettling way of getting in the middle of conversation (she believes that it was a plane that hit the pentagon. good job) we were hoping the weather would hold out but the foggy and cloudy of the day gave wales gorgeous character.
first stop was chepstow castle. something or other normandy bla bla 1067 a.d. it was breathtaking. really interesting to be in a monument that old. totally inconceivable. the fotos really spell out the grand time we had. you might be able to catch a few new friends in the pictures. incredibly, these bunac'ers are also friends from work. There's the two out of the three triplets from rhode island who happen to be red sox fans but let's not hold that against them. meghan and kate. additionally, lynn, from seattle sprinkled the trip with her sarcasm and refreshing, inappropriate wit that has been difficult to come by here.
quickly after chepstow, we got to the bridge that is half in wales and half in england. a gemini's dream.
after chepstow we visited tintern abbey which inspired artists such as turner and wordsworth. again, gorgeous and breathtaking. doves everywhere. i told lynn it reminded me of touched by an angel and proceeded to do my best della reese impression that russell has come to love so much.
we also hit a smaller church accompanied with a graveyard that was pretty much the creepiest thing i've seen in a while. in the 70s, people burned themselves within the church and its supposed to be haunted. we then proceeded to buy the most delicious ice cream (wales honeycomb) i have ever tasted. then i wasn't allowed with it on the coach bus (lame).

on to hay-on-wye which is my new favourite place in the world. this place is a small village that has THIRTY-NINE BOOKSTORES. you could go to a different one EACH DAY FOR A MONTH AND STILL HAVE ANOTHER WEEK TO GO. ridiculous. poetry book bookstore, antique book bookstore, 1-pound only bookstore, a bookstore with only books about bees, an honesty bookstore where you put money in the box and no one is there, and on and on and on. i went mad with glory. we had an hour and a half. i have resolved to go back there and i'm terrified it won't happen any time soon. (greenie if you think i didn't think of you, you'd be crazy.)

very shortly after, we were at baskerville hall, our hotel for the evening. this is the actual place that inspired the baskerville hounds by mr. doyle. this place, as you can see, was completely fantastic. indoor pool, sauna, and a ridiculous amount of crazy british boys. in the back, there was a dance club that bused in the locals for a good time each weekend. and bused in they did. we nursed some serious shots and hit the floor with the craziest, rowdiest groups of boys i've ever met.
recovering from our evening, lynn and i decided to sit down in the parlor and i had a feeling our night had just begun as the drunkies filtered back. we were invited to hang out with them as they returned in their stupour and i had a feeling this would turn out to be fantastic.
it was a stag party, which is equivilent to a bachelor party and we think, for certain reasons that these boys were rugby players. after convincing the hotel to open up its bar and chugging a few more pints, one of them decided to take off his shirt, and as a former drama major of the hofstra university drama department, this didn't phase me. what DID phase me just a bit was that he continued to strip and stood there, but naked, with his knickers at his ankles. ok. 1 naked boy. i can deal. been there done that. then, as if it was some type of mating ritual, every boy proceeded to take off all of his clothes and then they sat at the table, buck-ass naked, penises uncircumsized (mauro? what?) very comfortable and jovial in their drunken naked splendour. about 10 of them. no joke. naked. drunk. lynn and i knew this was a moment we would have forever.
and as soon as we started to process what was happening, they started to put their clothes back on. and that was thought. ridiculous. incredible. fantastic. europe.
the boys, now dressed and still wildly intoxicated began singing every uk drinking song in existence, which are really quite interesting. witty, double entendre'd rowdy and i was pretty turned on by their harmonious voices. in honour of me and lynn, the pats being there, they sang american pie, in its entiriety and also a ridiculous version of star spangled banner that included the lyrics "and the rockets duh duh duhddduhdhdudhdh lalaksdfoiajfasf." it was by far one of the most genuinely cultural british experiences i've had since being here. the night ended in a bit of blood and some shattered glass so on that note, we hurried back to our room at 4 am, dirty from the club, a bit buzzed from our shots and in utter satisfaction of our experiences. the hotel had the best water pressure since hoffy so i stood there in awe of how we encountered so much dick that evening.
the horses didn't care the next morning that we were sleep deprived. for cassie's indulgence, they were welsh cobs - half horse, half teddy bear and they reminded me of my little ponies. they were feisty, especially mine, who had the endearing mr rogers connotation of "Friday." he was brown and covered in mud but you know i like 'em dirty. he was quite the new yorker, pushing past the slower horses and kicking up at the ones behind him. i loved it. we rode all over the breacon beacons national park for a good few hours. my fotos speak. one of the most incredible experiences of my life. perfected and genuine beauty.
and may i add that my peircing plus the horse made the journey quite stimulating. unfortunately, we have no fotos from the actual ride as we weren't allowed to have cameras. lynn and i agreed that it was almost better bc even pictures wouldnt' do much justice to this one. lastly, we stopped at oxford for 45 minutes, long enough for me to check it out a bit for russell and also to go to some part of the university that was used for a large part of the harry potter films. i don't read harry potter so i only went to make people like dan uber jealous. christchurch college. that's it. i ate a delicious flapjack.

monday came seemingly inevitably. work has steadily improved, especially since i got drunk in the office with the rest of the staff on friday. i found my british half, steve who manages to be as offensive as my friends from home. we've encompassed aborted fetuses, squirrel sex, sticky balls in the computer mouse, amongst other topics. he wants to know if my coat is green as in go for my prostitution clients. (its is, of course.) this fantastic comaderie has helped work go by much faster. mauro has helped this along as well. (italian boy, not the one we played with my freshman year) our email correspondence continues and it turns out he left three bands to come to london. we're grabbing a pint tomorrow as he wants to hear about my prom and america and naked boys in wales.

alright i have the fotos in my possession now (thank you lynn) but they'll be posted for tomorrow.

angelina rayno's birthday came to pass this week. she's incredible and you should know that.